so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
