I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
