He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
did i just pee glitter
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
