I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
