i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
