I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
