How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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