so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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