I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
