I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
