there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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