no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
