i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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