whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
