Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
