If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
