Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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