Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
