there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
