Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
