Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
