he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I lost the right to judge tonight
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