i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
