Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
