with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
