he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
