Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm sobbing to NWA
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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