don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
