Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
