Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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