nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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