She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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