Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
