U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
