exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
