i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Randomize
