Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
