No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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