maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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