Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Randomize
