i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
