We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
