Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
