we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
