So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
You can't special order awesome
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
