She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
