And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I need a beard to bite.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
