You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
