Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
