hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
