did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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