I'm really into asian looking animals
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
