Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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