Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
we're so committed to being not committed
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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