Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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