I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
