i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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